Chores
Leah: If you have me on Facebook you have seen that my daughter, Harmony, loves to clean. It’s in her nature. She is mommy’s helper and wants to be involved in washing dishes, picking up clothes, hanging laundry, sweeping, and washing the car as often as possible. However, I was not like this AT ALL when I was a child. She definitely has picked this up from Piet.
As a kid, I got an allowance as did most American kids. I remember at one stage I was getting $8 a week. I believe we got a 50 cent increase every six months or so. I wonder what the going rate is now? I got my allowance when I kept my room somewhat clean, picked up my things from the living room, cleaned the bathroom once a week, and washed the car once a week. I don’t remember any other chores besides those. On occasion, my mom would ask me to vacuum or set the table, but I doubt that I did it regularly. I certainly didn’t wash dishes or do laundry.
Every summer, my brother and I would visit my grandparents in Northern California for a whole week. Grandma definitely saw that we weren’t doing our fair share of chores at home and needed to be put to work to learn responsibilities. My chores included wiping doing the table and countertop, setting the table, vacuuming, and making my bed in the morning. Oh, and also feeding and walking their Cocker Spaniel named Tia. David and I both helped with the dog. I can’t recall what David’s chores were, but I’m certain he had some as well. We were also only allowed to watch “G” rated movies and only 30 minutes a day, I think. One time we convinced Grandma to let us rent a “PG” rated movie because we had seen it before and were allowed to watch it. Grandma taught us well! Oh, and the intention was never to pay us for doing chores, but I think we did get $5 to spend at the end of our visit.
I believe there are two different parental perspectives. One, that says: We the parents earn the money, so the kids need to look after the house and earn their keep. I had plenty of friends whose parents were like that. I always felt sorry that they had to do so much, but they turned out to be quite responsible people. And then there is the perspective that my parents often took: Stay a kid as long as possible. Learn responsibilities, but don’t get overworked. I am appreciative of the way I was raised. I never resented doing a few things around the house, though I’m sure I complained! Grated, the first time I did laundry or dishes was in college! Looking back, I probably should have had more chores and I’m sure I’ll give my kids more responsibilities than I had.
Piet: I had lots of chores when I was growing up! My grandmother and aunties and other older relatives always put me to work.
In the morning before school I would need to wake up at about 4am to make a fire in order to heat my bathing water. After bathing and getting dressed I would then eat breakfast, which was often leftovers from the night before. I wasn’t allowed out of the house unless my bed was made. And not just the blanket thrown back over, but neatly and precisely made.
In the evenings after school, I lived for playing soccer with my cousins and neighbors. But I was not allowed to do anything fun until all my chores were finished. I had to wash (by hand of course), dry, and put away the dishes, wash my school uniform (again, this was done by hand in a basin), and fetch water for bathing from the community tap, which was maybe a mile or a little less away. I can remember many times when I would wash and dry the dishes as quickly as possible so that I could go and play soccer.
Another chore that the kids always had was acting as the messenger. If my grandmother needed to give someone money, I took it to them. If someone needed to be asked something, I went and asked them the question and reported the answer back to the appropriate person. If we were out of bread, I went to the local shop to buy it. Sometimes we had to walk for miles in between the two locations.
I never got paid for doing my chores; it was just part of my home responsibilities. Everyone I knew had very similar chores at their own houses. Even though we were poor growing up, this didn’t have anything to do with not getting paid. I didn’t know anyone who got paid for doing things they had to do.
I plan on raising my own kids in a similar way. Of course, it won’t be abusive in terms of responsibilities by any means. But, I don’t believe in paying my kids for their chores (no offense to the Westerners :-) ). I want them to know that they have things that must get done. It’s for their own good that they learn to make their beds, pick up their clothes and show us that they can be trusted in bigger things.
Leah: If you have me on Facebook you have seen that my daughter, Harmony, loves to clean. It’s in her nature. She is mommy’s helper and wants to be involved in washing dishes, picking up clothes, hanging laundry, sweeping, and washing the car as often as possible. However, I was not like this AT ALL when I was a child. She definitely has picked this up from Piet.
As a kid, I got an allowance as did most American kids. I remember at one stage I was getting $8 a week. I believe we got a 50 cent increase every six months or so. I wonder what the going rate is now? I got my allowance when I kept my room somewhat clean, picked up my things from the living room, cleaned the bathroom once a week, and washed the car once a week. I don’t remember any other chores besides those. On occasion, my mom would ask me to vacuum or set the table, but I doubt that I did it regularly. I certainly didn’t wash dishes or do laundry.
Every summer, my brother and I would visit my grandparents in Northern California for a whole week. Grandma definitely saw that we weren’t doing our fair share of chores at home and needed to be put to work to learn responsibilities. My chores included wiping doing the table and countertop, setting the table, vacuuming, and making my bed in the morning. Oh, and also feeding and walking their Cocker Spaniel named Tia. David and I both helped with the dog. I can’t recall what David’s chores were, but I’m certain he had some as well. We were also only allowed to watch “G” rated movies and only 30 minutes a day, I think. One time we convinced Grandma to let us rent a “PG” rated movie because we had seen it before and were allowed to watch it. Grandma taught us well! Oh, and the intention was never to pay us for doing chores, but I think we did get $5 to spend at the end of our visit.
I believe there are two different parental perspectives. One, that says: We the parents earn the money, so the kids need to look after the house and earn their keep. I had plenty of friends whose parents were like that. I always felt sorry that they had to do so much, but they turned out to be quite responsible people. And then there is the perspective that my parents often took: Stay a kid as long as possible. Learn responsibilities, but don’t get overworked. I am appreciative of the way I was raised. I never resented doing a few things around the house, though I’m sure I complained! Grated, the first time I did laundry or dishes was in college! Looking back, I probably should have had more chores and I’m sure I’ll give my kids more responsibilities than I had.
Piet: I had lots of chores when I was growing up! My grandmother and aunties and other older relatives always put me to work.
In the morning before school I would need to wake up at about 4am to make a fire in order to heat my bathing water. After bathing and getting dressed I would then eat breakfast, which was often leftovers from the night before. I wasn’t allowed out of the house unless my bed was made. And not just the blanket thrown back over, but neatly and precisely made.
In the evenings after school, I lived for playing soccer with my cousins and neighbors. But I was not allowed to do anything fun until all my chores were finished. I had to wash (by hand of course), dry, and put away the dishes, wash my school uniform (again, this was done by hand in a basin), and fetch water for bathing from the community tap, which was maybe a mile or a little less away. I can remember many times when I would wash and dry the dishes as quickly as possible so that I could go and play soccer.
Another chore that the kids always had was acting as the messenger. If my grandmother needed to give someone money, I took it to them. If someone needed to be asked something, I went and asked them the question and reported the answer back to the appropriate person. If we were out of bread, I went to the local shop to buy it. Sometimes we had to walk for miles in between the two locations.
I never got paid for doing my chores; it was just part of my home responsibilities. Everyone I knew had very similar chores at their own houses. Even though we were poor growing up, this didn’t have anything to do with not getting paid. I didn’t know anyone who got paid for doing things they had to do.
I plan on raising my own kids in a similar way. Of course, it won’t be abusive in terms of responsibilities by any means. But, I don’t believe in paying my kids for their chores (no offense to the Westerners :-) ). I want them to know that they have things that must get done. It’s for their own good that they learn to make their beds, pick up their clothes and show us that they can be trusted in bigger things.