Honoring Family
Leah:
There is a feature on Facebook where you can view your memories of previous posts from previous years. I like to think of it as “this day in my history”. About a week or two ago, there was a memory of my Auntie Judy’s memorial service from several years ago. Now, I didn’t actually go because I was here in Africa, but I did contribute a letter.
This is one way that we can honor family members that have passed on. We have funerals, memorial services, write letters, eulogies, light candles, visit grave sites, and the like. We think of all the fond memories we had with them, we share funny stories, and we pass on their legacy. We grieve and we never forget.
Those who share the same beliefs that I do, believe that those who knew Christ spend an eternity with him. Their bodies are laid to rest, but their spirit is still alive. Some people like to say that they went to “a better place.” Heck yeah, they did. Heaven will be much better than this! Others believe that this is all there is, that when someone dies, that’s it. Worm food.
No matter what you believe, I have a feeling you probably agree that when a loved one has left this world, they don’t come back. Their time is finished. This does not reflect how we feel about them or how much we loved them. We can still honor them with the knowledge that they are no longer here.
Piet:
Mmm! Generally in African culture we are people and relationship oriented. Family is a big part of our lives, especially where I’m coming from. Although we didn’t really have “vacations”, our trips would consist of visiting family in a different province or even in the same province, but kilometers away. A lot of our visits were because someone had passed away. When my Grandmother passed away this had a huge impact on my life and how to live my life. My mother was not around when I grew up; my Grandmother was all we had. Since she was so family oriented, everyone came to her funeral.
In the African culture, they bring the body home the night before the funeral. The men will pitch up the tent at the person’s home where they had been living, or the home where they grew up. Very rarely is it held at church because the belief is that the spirit must come home and leave from home in peace. (I personally don’t believe that.) There is an all-night prayer vigil where there is prayer, singing, and telling stories about the person, both funny and sad stories. If the deceased person was part of a church (even if it’s a cult or society) that priest or pastor will come and take a turn to preach during the night. The woman that is closest to the person sits next to the coffin for the whole night mourning the loss of the family member. All through the course of the night, people bring their condolences and good thoughts and even cash to help with the funeral costs.
The young men and women and those who are young at heart or who don’t want to listen to the preachers generally sit around the fire drinking beer talking about the lost family member. While all of this is happening, the women cook for the whole night. The men firstly slaughter a cow or a goat or sheep. The intestines and head are served during the all-night vigil, but the meat is served the next day with rice, pumpkin, cabbage, beetroot, and other sides. They have to cook for the whole community to say thank you for bringing their condolences. There is generally 200 or more people who attend the funeral the next day.
African funerals generally start pretty early, like 7 or 8 am because we have had the body for the whole night. The preacher comes to give a funeral message, we sing more songs, and people bring a message or a poem with each flower that is laid on the coffin. The funeral itself is pretty typical of what you would expect. However, after the service, everyone travels to the burial site to lay the body to rest. It doesn’t take very long here, we just put the coffin in the grave and each man puts a shovel of dirt on the grave to represent that we helped bury him.
We do a memorial service some time later after the funeral. The memorial service is simply when we have gathered enough money to put a tombstone on their grave in their honor.
I have lots of memories of funeral services because it is extremely important in our culture. We attended the funerals of all our family members that had passed as well as neighbors and other community members.
Leah:
There is a feature on Facebook where you can view your memories of previous posts from previous years. I like to think of it as “this day in my history”. About a week or two ago, there was a memory of my Auntie Judy’s memorial service from several years ago. Now, I didn’t actually go because I was here in Africa, but I did contribute a letter.
This is one way that we can honor family members that have passed on. We have funerals, memorial services, write letters, eulogies, light candles, visit grave sites, and the like. We think of all the fond memories we had with them, we share funny stories, and we pass on their legacy. We grieve and we never forget.
Those who share the same beliefs that I do, believe that those who knew Christ spend an eternity with him. Their bodies are laid to rest, but their spirit is still alive. Some people like to say that they went to “a better place.” Heck yeah, they did. Heaven will be much better than this! Others believe that this is all there is, that when someone dies, that’s it. Worm food.
No matter what you believe, I have a feeling you probably agree that when a loved one has left this world, they don’t come back. Their time is finished. This does not reflect how we feel about them or how much we loved them. We can still honor them with the knowledge that they are no longer here.
Piet:
Mmm! Generally in African culture we are people and relationship oriented. Family is a big part of our lives, especially where I’m coming from. Although we didn’t really have “vacations”, our trips would consist of visiting family in a different province or even in the same province, but kilometers away. A lot of our visits were because someone had passed away. When my Grandmother passed away this had a huge impact on my life and how to live my life. My mother was not around when I grew up; my Grandmother was all we had. Since she was so family oriented, everyone came to her funeral.
In the African culture, they bring the body home the night before the funeral. The men will pitch up the tent at the person’s home where they had been living, or the home where they grew up. Very rarely is it held at church because the belief is that the spirit must come home and leave from home in peace. (I personally don’t believe that.) There is an all-night prayer vigil where there is prayer, singing, and telling stories about the person, both funny and sad stories. If the deceased person was part of a church (even if it’s a cult or society) that priest or pastor will come and take a turn to preach during the night. The woman that is closest to the person sits next to the coffin for the whole night mourning the loss of the family member. All through the course of the night, people bring their condolences and good thoughts and even cash to help with the funeral costs.
The young men and women and those who are young at heart or who don’t want to listen to the preachers generally sit around the fire drinking beer talking about the lost family member. While all of this is happening, the women cook for the whole night. The men firstly slaughter a cow or a goat or sheep. The intestines and head are served during the all-night vigil, but the meat is served the next day with rice, pumpkin, cabbage, beetroot, and other sides. They have to cook for the whole community to say thank you for bringing their condolences. There is generally 200 or more people who attend the funeral the next day.
African funerals generally start pretty early, like 7 or 8 am because we have had the body for the whole night. The preacher comes to give a funeral message, we sing more songs, and people bring a message or a poem with each flower that is laid on the coffin. The funeral itself is pretty typical of what you would expect. However, after the service, everyone travels to the burial site to lay the body to rest. It doesn’t take very long here, we just put the coffin in the grave and each man puts a shovel of dirt on the grave to represent that we helped bury him.
We do a memorial service some time later after the funeral. The memorial service is simply when we have gathered enough money to put a tombstone on their grave in their honor.
I have lots of memories of funeral services because it is extremely important in our culture. We attended the funerals of all our family members that had passed as well as neighbors and other community members.